


Small Steps

by CastielWinchester96



Series: Deaf!Sam Verse [52]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 13x17, Deaf, Deaf Character, Deaf Sam, Deaf Sam Winchester, Episode: s13e17 The Thing, M/M, Orthorexia Nervosa, Post-Episode: s13e17 The Thing, Sam Winchester Has an Eating Disorder, Tag to 13x17
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-07 00:21:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14659281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielWinchester96/pseuds/CastielWinchester96
Summary: Tag to 13x17When it comes to making sure his brother is eating, it's always one step forward and two steps back for Dean.





	Small Steps

**Author's Note:**

> Further exploration of Sam's Orthorexia Nervosa, which was previously seen in Part 34 - Baby
> 
> " " - indicates speech  
> ' ' - indicates signing

"Don't give me those puppy dog eyes, you're eating." Dean stated as they walked into the diner, time warp girl following close behind.

"You sound like, Dad."

"Then eat something and I won't have to."

"It not like I  _not_  going to eat."

"Something that's not green."

Sam rolled his eyes.

"I not a child."

They took a seat at the table.

"Folks, what will it be?" The waitress asked happily as she walked over.

"Uhh, what's good?" Dean asked.

"Well, people love the clam cakes, but if you ask me, you gotta' try the stuffies."

"Well I don't know what stuffies are but we'll take two, and the clam cakes."

Sam grimaces discreetely at the mention of two stuffies, knowing the expectation of him to eat one of them.

"Anything to drink?"

"Uhh, water would be great." He answered.

"Oh, that's exciting." The waitress commented, sarcastically. "It comes with a lemon, you sure you can handle that?"

Dean noticed the immediate embarrassment and anxiety flowing off his brother but didn't comment, knowing any form of response to her would only make Sam feel worse in the long run.

The waitress moved on to Sandy before the attention returned to Sam.

"How about you?"

"Kale salad, please." His eyes remained down on the table as he answered, picking at the cuff of his shirt.

"And." Dean spoke up.

Sam bit his tongue to not say something as he grabbed the menu from the table forcibly.

"And the lobster roll."

Dean seemed pleased enough with that.

"No bun though."

The waitress pulled a face but wrote it down without another comment before walking off.

Sam felt a tap on his shoulder.

"I need some air."

He moved from the booth to allow Sandy out before he threw down the menu, his eyes falling to Dean.

"Whatever you have say, say it, 'cause I not in the mood." Sam stated, defeatedly.

"Sammy..."

And with that, Sam exploded, hands begin to sign sternly.

'No! You not get to treat me like I six. You not just repeat I have eating disorder. I know I fucked up but not need you remind me every five second! I been fine for years and I fine now so just leave me the hell alone and not interfere with what I eat 'cause I hate this. I hate it so much! It driving me insane. I have no control over own life to point where I not able to order on own without someone controlling that too.'

After his outburst, the youngest Winchester sighed, leaning his elbows on the tabletop and burying his head in his hands.

Dean was still as he watched his little brother in clear distress. He knew he had been more pushy recently regarding what Sam was eating, but it was only because his brother's diet had become almost non-existent due to the increasingly common low moods he'd been finding himself in over the past few months. It wasn't hard to see how much it clearly had been weighing down on Sam, but a part of him knew that his brother wouldn't have eaten anything if he hadnt've been this forceful with him.

Reaching a hand out across the table, he signed 'Little Bear'.

Sam's eyes tracked to the sign before a small smile appeared on his face. He scrubbed a hand through his hair, pushing it back before his gaze met with Dean's once again.

"I sorry. I not mean to go off like that."

Dean shook his head.

"You don't have to apologise, Sammy."

"You just try help."

The waitress walked over to the table.

"Here we go, lobster salad, no bun, and the kale salad for you, string bean."

"Thank you." Sam grabbed a fork and began digging in.

"How can you even eat that? Kale is a garnish."

"Hey, you said eat. I eating." He quipped a grin.

"And, two stuffies, plus some clam cakes." The waitress listed as she returned once again, laying the plates down. "Enjoy." She walked off.

Sam looked at the stuffies and pulled a face.

"I not eat that."

"At least try some of it." Dean grabbed a fork.

"You will literally eat anything won't you?" Sam smirked.

The eldest Winchester piled his fork with stuffie.

"I can't hear you." He pretended.

Sam rolled his eyes, taking another bite of salad. He then notice his brother's expression change. Furrowing an eyebrow, he followed Dean's gaze, turning in his seat to the teen by the door.

"Something weird's going on." He lipread.

Dean shuffled along the bench to look out the window.

It was then that he began to feel strange.

The room seemed to begin spinning, his throat tightening causing him to cough.

He knew his brother was calling for him but he couldn't get anything to cooperate.

His brain felt like mush as his eyelids began to droop and then soon...

* * *

Parked outside the bunker, Cas reread the text from Dean he had received a few hours earlier.

'We found the last ingredient so I'm heading into the rift with Ketch to try and find Mom and Jack. I made Sam stay behind to look after Gabriel. Yes, that Gabriel. I need you to come and keep an eye on him for me because his anxiety is flaring and he's in a bad place right now. Something happened on our last case and he's not eating, like at all. Not even salads. Whatever security he found in even those are gone thanks to some idiots we met who took that from him. Please get to the bunker whenever you can, I wanted to wait for you to get there but we didn't have time. He really needs you right now, buddy. I know it's gonna' be a nightmare, but please try and get him to eat at least something. I trust you, Cas."

Sighing, he got out of the car before walking to the bunker.

Opening the door, he made his way inside and down the corridor to Sam's room. Three heavy knocks later and the door opened to reveal a very worn out looking Sam.

"Cas?" Sam furrowed an eyebrow. "What you doing here?" He pulled the angel closer immediately, wrapping his arms around him in a soft hug.

"I came to see you."

"You came to check on me." The youngest Winchester corrected.

Cas glanced him over. "You're very skinny. That's not optimal for your build."

"You as bad as Dean." Sam groaned.

"I could try cooking something for you if you'd like? I know how to make soup now."

Sam furrowed an eyebrow.

"When did you learn that?"

"Dean showed me once, in case the occasion ever arose where I would need such a skill. It seems this would be the perfect time to put it to use."

The youngest Winchester smirked.

"Thanks, Cas."

"So is that a yes to the soup."

Sam seemed to withdraw, looking smaller.

"No."

"What happened, Sam?" Cas asked, softly.

"The people we met, they also Men of Letters, sorta. They thought we threat though, so they drug our food." He began. "I stupid and ate mine, D'n not."

Cas winced in sympathy at the story.

"I remember feeling awful, and not in control, and then nothing." A tear trickled down Sam's cheek. "I hated it. It scare me so much, Cas."

The angel pulled his boyfriend close, holding him gently as he sobbed. He then began to hum a soft tune familiar only to the youngest Winchester.

The melody had the desired effect in calming Sam down but Cas could feel the shakes in his body from the lack of nutrition.

"You need to eat something."

"Cassssss..." Sam groaned.

"We can eat something together, how does that sound?"

"You not eat, Cas." He reminded.

The angel shrugged. "I don't have to, that doesn't mean I can't, and I’d do it for you."

The youngest Winchester looked at his boyfriend and smiled.

"Thank you, Cas, honestly."

"There is no need to thank me, Sam." Cas smiled too. "You need to eat something or you'll get sick and I won't let that happen. No one has had any access to it but us, so it’s safe. It doesn't have to be a lot. And we can share it. Deal?" Cas held out his hand.

Sam's hand shook as he fought with himself mentally before the angel finally felt a hand clutch his own.

Cas pressed a kiss to his boyfriend's lips with a smile. "Small steps."

Sam nodded.

"Small steps."


End file.
